It is quite surprising how; motherhood brings with it a swarm of new friends along with the many add-ons that come. Suddenly you start to associate yourself with the many others around you and many of those around, associate you as one of them. Motherhood makes strangers become acquaintances and acquaintances as friends. Though it might also revert the whole sequence, quite unpredictable as it is and makes us too.

The friends and acquaintances come in a wide variety to choose from. There are those who are genuinely concerned and those who are actually not. Those who like to suggest and those who’d rather keep mum. Those who compare and those who say “who cares!”. Those who give you an ear and those who are rarely there. There are some who like to scare and others who love to share, some would give you a shoulder to cry on and then, there are those who themselves would prefer your shoulder.

But one thing that’s common in friendships that walk into your life after motherhood knocks the door is - a world full of advises. And believe me its these advises and the way they are given, that makes the whole lot of difference between, who is an acquaintance, who graduates to a friend, who remains as an acquaintance, who stays as a friend and which friend reverts to being an acquaintance.

You’ll find motherhood making you over sensitive to the looks that pass people’s faces, when they see your child and your interaction with him/her. Even strangers don’t hesitate advising when it comes to a mother in distress with a wailing child by her side.

I can never forget the first, overnight train journey of mine with my 50 days old daughter. The train, the people and the fact that my baby was extremely colicky compounded to make the little one, a perpetual alarm throughout the night. Neither did she sleep a wink and needless to say, nor was anyone else in the compartment allowed their precious peaceful moments at night, thanks to the high pitched wail, that she was blessed with.

The next morning, I was subjected to stares from different sets of eyes, some accusing, others complaining, one with a look that might as well would have said – “what good are you?” But amidst the piercing ones was a set that was warm and understanding. The moment my eyes met hers, the lady smiled and said, “you must be so tired…I can understand, babies like her go to sleep if you rub some asafoetida on their belly buttons just after their feed.” All I did was nod my head and smile, but for me that one sentence meant a lot.

For me that lady was a person more like a friend, someone who understood, advised and yet was not imposing. Her advise stayed with me for the years to follow, passed on to others who needed it, the way I once did and used on my second child as well, reminding me every time of the kind set of eyes, those which I can never forget.

Motherhood if on one hand is rewarding, is on the other hand, more often than not, quite taxing, physically as well as emotionally. A set of good friends to share your experiences with and gain from their’s is quite a treat. The bouquet however comes with a few dry flowers too; those who compare, pass snide remarks and make you feel small.

Such are the people who remain in the mommy’s list of acquaintances, never really making it to the friends’ category. For friends, even with their expectations never would dream to hurt you, knowing very well that each of us mothers has her own baggage to carry, friendship only making it easier and more fun.